Oh that spam

We are slammed at work so I am totally irresponsible and typing a quick post. We get this crazy-ass insane penis spam in our private Christian school email mailboxes. Today I got messages with these subject lines:
Significant penis thickening with strong orgasm (this sounds a bit Asian to me)
Love tool deserving of a titan

There are also the less-inspired:
Make her scream with pleasure all night long (or let your little boy watch the Goonies on TBS and listen to him scream when the dog nudges his bed)

All right all right--must go run off grade level meeting materials, ready admission tests, and run lunch report. I'm dropping articles, do I sound Asian? Me so fun-neee.

I'll be burning in hell if you need me!
Em